Potty Training 101, Results Not Typical

First of all, sorry for the two-day lapse. I have been too busy to post until now. Anyway...back to the story.

I worked from home the Monday after starting "Potty Training Boot Camp" so that Willow had one more day to get it down pat before going back to daycare. She had ZERO accidents on Monday. Now, it's been a 10 days (and counting) since Willow has had any accidents, so I think she is doing just fine with using the potty. To say that the results we have had aren't "typical" is an understatement. Even the Center Director at her Daycare commented that she couldn't believe it. I still have trouble believing it and I am waiting for the relapse. But then Willow's personality is such that once she starts something, she doesn't go back. Especially when it's something she has learned. She LOVES to show us again and again that she is a "big girl" and can do it. "My did it Mommy!!" are some of the best words EVER.

So many parents suffer (right along with their kids) much frustration and setbacks when they decide to potty train. I have found that the following things helped tremendously with making the transition out of diapers smooth:

1. Wait until your child is ready. There are plenty of resources out there for helping you to determine whether or not your child is ready to potty train, least of which is the fact that you know your child better than a book.


2. Find a training method you like and STICK WITH IT. Consistency is the key to success, and believe me I had times when I wondered what the heck I had gotten myself into.


3. Don't give up.


4. Don't give up.


5. Don't give up.

Like any skill, potty training is something that needs to be learned. Your child will have to not only learn to recognize what it feels like when they have to use the potty, but they will have to get in the "habit" of going to the bathroom. Not to mention, they actually have to get undressed (to a certain extent) now. These are all big changes and they take time to set in, especially if you start the process before your child is ready, and will require a lot of repetition.

Quite honestly, I think the most useful book was Stress-Free Potty Training: A Commonsense Guide to Finding the Right Approach for Your Child because it gave me some good insight into my child's personality and what I could expect with respect to her learning to use the potty. When we finally made the decision to go for it, we didn't turn back. Once she was in real underwear, that was IT. We didn't want to create confusion for her by going back to diapers.

Although it seems like Willow learned to use the potty in two days, in reality it was a process that took many months of "seeding" to put in place. We bought her her own potty to play with at least 6 months (or more) ago. She had practiced sitting on it lots of times, wanting to imitate what we were doing. We were never shy of showing her what happened with the potty. One of the biggest things I think created success for us was planting the seed that "poop and pee live in the potty". When we would use the potty we would flush and say "bye bye pee (or poop)" and she would look in the toilet and watch it go down the drain (I know it sounds gross but it worked, especially when she got to do the flushing). There were a few times we had some trouble during formal training when I said "Don't you want the poop and pee to go to their home?" and it did the trick.

If you are about to embark on your own potty training journey, I wish you luck. If you are in the midst of your journey and feeling like it's never going to end, I assure you it will. One day your kid just "gets" it and then it's on to the next "thing" that has to be accomplished. I hope my journey has helped you.


Previously:
Potty Training 101, The Beginning
Potty Training 101, "Boot Camp"


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Potty Training 101, "Boot Camp"

The time had come. Willow seemed ready and eager to use the potty and give up diapers for good. As parents, we were as well. We were prepared for much frustration and many accidents. But we knew it would all be worth it in the end to be diaper-free. It was Saturday morning and time for "Potty Training Boot Camp" to begin.

Let me start off by saying that it was an incredible help to have a friend potty training her daughter at the same time (my stupendous friend Kate). It was great to be able to call or e-mail each other with how we were doing, and to be able to trade tips and suggestions. We also posted quite a bit to FaceBook about the whole experience as it was happening.

We started the morning off in pullups, like she had been wearing since the Tuesday before...

The method we chose was the one that was outlined in both Pottywise for Toddlers: A Developmental Readiness Approach to Potty Training and Toilet Training in Less Than a Day. That method is to use a doll to teach your toddler to stay dry by using the potty. The concept is that he/she can "learn by doing" in this manner.

So, we used the Raggedy Ann doll. I gave the doll a "sip" of Willow's drink (the book suggests you give the doll her own drink) and soon after that I said "Willow, I think that dolly has to use the potty". So, I asked dolly to check if she was dry (of course she was) and we went to the potty. I said "Yay dolly for staying dry!!" I asked her to show the doll how to use the potty. I told her the first step is to pull the pants down. Then we sit on the potty (I made a noise like dolly was peeing). After she was "done" I said "Yay dolly for using the potty to stay dry!!" Then we wiped with toilet paper (or paper towels as Willow like to call it). We then pull up our pants and flush the toilet. Then, lastly, we wash our hands.

I told dolly that she got a special treat for using the potty to stay dry. See, you want to reward your child for staying dry, not for using the potty. The ultimate goal is to stay dry (and clean) and the method by which you accomplish that is to use the potty. So, rewarding the act of staying dry is kind of like rewarding your kid for eating their dinner by using a fork. The ultimate goal is to eat the food. The way they do that is with the fork. Now, since the doll couldn't eat the treat, I asked Willow to. Then for the first part of the morning, we would periodically sit Willow on the potty (about once an hour) after asking if she was dry. If she had an accident, that was okay. She just didn't get a treat for using the potty to stay dry.

It was soon apparent that Willow needed more motivation and Kate already had Abby in real cotton underwear, so I went to Target and bought about 20 pairs. Willow was super excited to put on real underpants. Soon after she had them on, she had her first accident. No big deal. We cleaned it up and sat her on the potty. There is a specific method by which you should treat accidents.

The main thing is to stay calm and not get angry. They are still, after all, learning how to use the potty. But, they have to realize that there are consequences for accidents. So when she had an accident, we told her pee goes on the potty. We made her walk in her wet pants to the bathroom and sit on the potty (she obviously didn't have to pee and that's okay). She then had to carry the soiled pants and underpants up the stairs and put them in the hamper. We then changed her. She ended up having a total of two accidents on both Saturday and Sunday.

We put her in a pullup for naps and for overnight. That will continue until she can demonstrate dryness for at least a week. She can do it, because she has over the past two weeks many times, just not too consistently.

So all in all, "Potty Training Boot Camp" seemed to go quite well. Tune in tomorrow to see how she fared after the weekend. (HINT: I stayed home with her Monday to make sure she had it down)

Previously: Potty Training 101, The Beginning


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Potty Training 101, The Beginning

We decided several weeks ago to potty train my 29 month old daughter. She had been showing all of the signs including wanting her diaper changed right away, telling us when she was peeing or pooping, staying dry for several hours at a time, etc.

My stupendous friend Kate (whose daughter Abby is 1 month younger than Willow) let me borrow a book called Pottywise for Toddlers: A Developmental Readiness Approach to Potty Training. It's a short book with some good information on potty training.

So, I thought I'd go for it in a week or two...

But before I did I wanted to get a couple of more books on the subject. So, I bought Toilet Training in Less Than a Day, and Stress-Free Potty Training: A Commonsense Guide to Finding the Right Approach for Your Child. (I figured I should be informed)

Using the third book on the list we were able to determine that Willow was a "Goal Oriented" child. They are supposedly the easiest to potty train. I armed myself with pullups, a brand new Russ Berrie 16" Button Eye Raggedy Ann doll (Two of the three potty training books I read suggested using a doll to train your child to use the potty. But YOU (the parent) aren't the one to teach the doll...your toddler will take care of that.) So, I ordered a Raggedy Ann doll from Amazon (since I'm a Prime member I get free two-day shipping), and various prizes and treats (for using the potty). But, I didn't get them all at once.

On a whim, the weekend BEFORE we planned on "Potty Training Boot Camp" as I was calling it, we bought a package of pullups because we had a coupon. We told Willow they were her new "big girl" underwear and put them where she could see them for some motivation. Sure enough, on the Tuesday before, Willow decided that it was time to start pooping on the potty. Let me say that again, in case you didn't get it. WILLOW decided. We parents didn't decide, Willow did. So, since I had the pullups already, I decided to send her to daycare in pullups to see what happened.

Time for a little background. For the 6 months or so before starting potty training, Willow had her very own potty to play with. We told her about using the potty and we emphasized that "Poop and pee live in the potty". We let her practice sitting on her potty if she wanted to, but never forced the issue. She actually did pee on the potty a few times, but it wasn't because we wanted her to, she just wanted to try it. We let her flush the toilet (saying "bye bye poop and pee" as it went down the drain), and we let her watch us use the potty.

When we sent her to daycare, we told them she had pullups on, but didn't ask that they do anything in particular to train her as we were going to be doing "Boot Camp" the next weekend. At first, she would only poop on the potty. At daycare they sat her on the potty every 30 minutes. She would poop, but no pee. This was a good start! I was excited and anxious about the upcoming weekend.

As kind of an afterthought (since it was only two days before we were starting our training), Kate sent me the following info from her Mom's Club. A parent in the club had just potty trained her 22-month-old and had great results. Now I am sharing it with you (I hope they don't mind).

From the e-mail (my comments in red):
I used the book "Potty training in one day" written by the owner of "Potty training Concepts". It is a direct copycat of "Toilet training in less than a day" which is a 30 year old book. I actually got both books. Even though the potty training book is a copy, it is a bit updated, and is written by a Mom instead of psychologists, so it's an easier read, so that's the one I recommend getting. The concepts REALLY WORK! That's why she copied a book that is still popular after 30 years.

There's definitely some expense and preparation time with doing this method, but it's worth it when your child is potty trained in a few days instead of months. I've heard of so many horror stories and I have to say, except for the first couple of days, it's been pretty painless.

NECESSARY

• Book - "Potty training in one day" (very short book, see above) The DVD is NOT necessary. I got it and it wasn't that great.


• Potty doll - I bought the doll the book recommends, because they make it! It's supposed to "pee on demand" but it leaks all the time. I don't think it's worth the $50. Get a cheap one from Wal-Mart. If you have a boy and you can't find a boy doll at Wal-Mart, you might want to get the one on the website. As I already mentioned I got a Raggedy Ann doll. Having a doll that can pee isn't necessary and Willow still got it no problem. Having pants that can pull down are a MUST, though, on the doll you choose.


• Potty Power DVD - ($12.99 Babisrus.com; they didn't have it in the store; can also get it from Potty Training Concepts for $14.99) You can also get other potty DVD's instead. I got Elmo's too since Alexis loves Elmo, but she enjoyed the potty power one more. She wanted to watch it over and over again and she still said "Potty Power" sometimes when she goes! I used the Elmo Potty video with Willow...we've been watching it for months.


• Folding potty seat - to keep in your diaper bag. You put it on top of public restroom seats. I got the Sesame Street one for $9.99 from Babies R Us. I got one of these but we haven't had to use it yet.


• Potty chair - Mine didn't like the little potty and preferred the real toilet. I got a Flip n Flush toilet potty seat that installs between the lid and toilet seat, so it's a permanent fixture and doesn't have to be constantly moved when a grown-up uses the restroom. I love this product! ($9.99 Potty Training Concepts) THIS IS THE BEST THING YOU CAN GET. I just got one (VERY HARD TO FIND ONLINE RIGHT NOW) and it is a dream.


• Waterproof pull-on pants - ($7.95 for 2 in a pack; Potty Training Concepts). Also, the "2 in 1 potty pants" seem like they're great, but at $7.95 a piece, I decided to pass. I instead got 12 pairs of cotton panties instead and 1 pack of the waterproof pull-on pants to put on top. I only used these when we were out of the house. I didn't get these but, to each his own.


• Underwear - Get 10-12 pairs. You can't have too many. The first 4 days, I did laundry every day! Get one size too big, so they can pull them up and down on their own.


• Dollar store prizes to give to her when she pees (only for the first day) - can also use candy (maybe a couple M&M's) if the toys don't work. This is only for the couple of days ONLY when you're doing the actual teaching.


• Travel potty - I couldn't leave without this! See the picture below. I take it everywhere with me. I have the folding potty seat that I store in the diaper bag, but this is even cleaner. I leave it in the back of my SUV and she goes in between errands. We also took it to the beach and everywhere else! (Babies r us carries it for $20-$25) I got the one you can keep in the diaper bag and it's awesome.

NICE BUT NOT NECESSARY

• Stool to put by the potty - Only get if you think your child is independent enough to climb on the potty by herself. Mine wasn't because she was so young, so I don't use the stool. Also, don't get these from Potty Training Concepts. They are overpriced there. I put the stools by the sink for when I wash her hand. If your child is older, she/he can do this on their own.


• Potty watch - $10.99 Potty Training Concepts (She wore it and it sings reminding your child and YOU to go to the potty every 30, 60 or 90 minutes) . This was great but I only used it for a few days before she started telling me she needed to go, so it's not that important, but I still really like it, and it's cheap.


• Piddle Pad Waterproof Car seat liner - ($7.99 Potty Training Concepts); If you're worried about when you're in the car. she really hasn't gone in the car but I kept her at home 100% the first 4 days of potty training. I tried a plain old towel and Willow didn't want to have anything to do with it.

Good luck! Tomorrow, I'll tell you all about "Boot Camp" and how Willow did over the weekend.

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Potty Training?

So, I was looking at Goody Blog, which I peruse from time to time and I noticed a post on Potty Training that intrigued me. Goody Blog linked to another blog, Motherhood, Marriage, and Other Wild Rides, which has a chronicle of Potty Training their infant son. After reading their account I am convinced this is what I want to do with Willow.

Honestly, I had heard about mothers "training" their children to use the potty from birth and I have to laugh at that. I kind of have to laugh at my own willingness to start with Willow too. I mean, how can a baby know about bowel movements and using the potty? But I figure that since Willow is old enough to be crawling around (and pulling up on everything) and since I am actively signing with her, maybe this is a time to start thinking about potty training early. And by early, I mean probably after she is actually walking around which will be soon knowing her.

My sister has four children. Her one bit of advice when it comes to toilet training is to make a big deal out of poop, the sooner the better. She said it makes potty training a heck of a lot easier if the kids are more comfortable with poop. So, every time Willow poops we have a mini party..."YAY POOP!! GOOD JOB!" And the other day, David even showed Willow where poop and pee live (in the potty). She had no idea what he was talking about but her seeing what the potty does is a beginning step.

I found an old article (2005) from the NY Times called: A Fast Track to Toilet Training for Those at the Crawling Stage. From the article, "For many parents in the United States, the idea of potty training before a baby is able to walk, or even before age 2, is not just horrifying but reprehensible - a sure nightmare for parents and baby, not to mention a direct route from the crib to the psychiatrist's couch. But a growing number of parents are experimenting with infant potty training, seeing it as more sanitary, ecologically correct and likely to strengthen bonds between parent and child.

"Once, however, breastfeeding also was a rarity.

"With early toilet training, there is a broad body of knowledge and experience to draw on. Parents in at least 75 countries, including India, Kenya and Greenland, embrace the practice, with Chinese babies often wearing pants with split bottoms for easy squatting (available for $1 in Chinatown, according to savvy mothers in New York).

"Some parents who adopt children from other countries say they are startled to find that their babies arrive ready to use the toilet. More than 50 percent of the world's children are toilet trained by the time they turn 1, according to Contemporary Pediatrics magazine."

So, why not start now (well, not NOW now, but soon)? I know I would LOVE to be finished with diapers. And how can a little independence at this early stage be a bad thing? The only thing I am a little concerned about is daycare. I am not sure that they will be willing to work with Willow at this early stage. But then I figure that if they can change her diaper once an hour, they can certainly take her to the potty just as easily. I have ordered my DVD signing kit and Potty. On the advice of a friend's wife (who is pregnant with #3), I looked into getting the Fisher-Price Fun To Learn Potty but the reviews convinced me not to. I don't want her thinking the potty is a toy.

Hopefully we'll get started in another 3-4 months and when Willow is 18 months old, she too will be potty trained (like 95% of children that age in the 1960's were) and maybe not.

Is this the right thing to do? Am I going to scar Willow for life? Don't worry...you'll be kept apprised of our progress when we do finally start.

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