Hitting and Discipline

At going on 11 months old, Willow has started her hitting phase. She hits when she gets frustrated, when she wants something or when you do something she doesn't like. This just started over the past week or so and it's getting worse. We try to distract her and we say (and sign) "no" but she doesn't know what she is doing wrong and sometimes I think it's all going in one ear and out the other. But, I know that through repetition she will eventually get it.

According to Baby Center, "Shocking as it may be to you (and onlookers), aggressive behavior is a normal part of your toddler's development. Still-emerging language skills, a fierce desire to become independent, and undeveloped impulse control make children this age prime candidates for getting physical. "Some degree of hitting and biting is completely normal for a toddler," says Nadine Block, executive director of the Center for Effective Discipline in Columbus, Ohio. That doesn't mean you should ignore it, of course. Let your toddler know that aggressive behavior is unacceptable and show him other ways to express his feelings."

With babies, trying to discipline them really does no good because they don't know what they did wrong. According to Baby 411, the best thing to do is put your baby down and set her on the floor. Calmly and sternly say "No hitting." (or biting or whatever the bad behavior is) and don't pay attention to them for one minute. Since your attention is what your baby wants most of all, this is a good punishment. If your baby has hurt you (in the case of biting) then "lick your wounds" out of sight of your baby. It may take 20-30 times, but your baby will get the message.

According to Dr. Jayne Nelson (parenting expert, author and co-author of the Positive Discipline series):

Even though toddlers don’t fully comprehend language, you can still use words (while removing them) such as, “Hitting hurts people. Let’s find something else you can enjoy doing.”

When babies hit you, put them down and leave the room immediately for a minute or two without saying a word. At this age, they will understand actions better than words.

When your preschooler hits you, decide what you will do instead of trying to control your child. Let her know that every time she hits you, you will leave the room until she is ready to treat you respectfully. After you have told her this once, follow through without any words. Leave immediately.

I was hit as a child and I don't believe that corporal punishment does anything more than teach your child that hitting is okay, which completely defeats the purpose of telling them not to hit.

I have been trying to find information on the cognitive reasoning ability of an 11 month old, but I think I'll have to dig out my Sociology book to find the answer since the Internets are not helping me. If I find more info, I'll update this post.