About Parenting: "Between Parent and Child"

I am reading a book written by Dr. Haim Ginott called Between Parent and Child. It's a book about communicating effectively with your children. As I am reading it, I see time and again the things that my parents said to me when I was growing up. And you want to know the interesting part? All the things that they said to me (and still say to me) were completely wrong.

Let me give you an example:

12-year-old Helen comes home from school very upset.

Helen: I know you'll be disappointed. I only got a B on my test. I know how important it is to you that I get an A.
Mother: But I really don't care. How can you even say such a thing? I'm not at all disappointed in your grade. I think a B is fine.
Helen: Then why do you always yell at me when I don't get an A?
Mother: When did I yell at you? You're disappointed, so you're blaming me.

Helen started to cry and ran from the room. Even though Helen's mother understood that her daughter blamed her instead of acknowledging her own disappointment, pointing this out to her and arguing with her did not make her feel any better. Helen's mother would have been more helpful had she acknowledged her daughters perception by saying: "You wish your grades were not that important to me. You want to be the one who decides what is a good grade for you. I see."

This book is filled with situations just like that one where the author explains why saying something different can make all the difference with your child and their perception of themselves. And not only situations with older children, but young children as well.

It talks about "mirroring" feelings and I have to completely agree with what I have read so far, so I thought I'd recommend it to you!!

I bought it because I want to be Supermom!! Just kidding. I bought it because I was looking for some parenting books and it got good reviews on Amazon. I don't think I'd want to live up to the expectations that go along with being Supermom. I just want to have a good relationship with my daughter. I want her to feel she can talk to and trust me with anything. I know, big order huh? I am probably setting myself up for disappointment down the road but I think I'll give it a shot anyway!

So, if you think you're having trouble communicating with your child or children, give this book a try!! Proper communication is going to involve changing the way I see and react to a situation but that can't be any harder than being a mother!!